For those who see a little grey in their black and white – Let it Burn

This post may be one of the hardest posts I have ever published in a while. It will tackle personal challenges I am trying my best to overcome. I admit that I am not doing this based on my own free will. This post is inspired by the Holy Spirit and designed to help you or someone overcome sinful challenges. James 5:16 KJV tells us to confess our faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. I pray that as you read you will look within at your own challenges without condemnation. And if you’re so perfect that this post does not apply to you, pray one for another that ye may be healed. So, here goes.

I awoke this morning burdened. A feeling contrary to previous mornings. What was different about this morning? I had previously, intentionally sinned AGAIN. How great?  I have been a Christian long enough to understand that the Christian journey is not just black or white.  Like many others, I see much grey. I must admit, however, that when I encountered Christ initially, I adopted what I had seen and heard in the church. Thankfully, as the Holy Spirit led, I continued to seek God and build my unique, personal relationship with Him.

“The bible says love your neighbour as yourself so you should just do it.” But what if I don’t know how to love myself? “The bible tells us to forgive 70 times 7” but forgiveness is a process for me. Am I so awful? Sermons or lessons are often presented in a way that leads the Christian – and even unbelievers – to believe that Christians are immune to the realities of the world. While it is believed that we are more equipped to take on the challenges of the world, it is not as easy for many.

I boldly declare that I was neither born nor raised in the church. With some interesting challenges in life, I have walked many paths less traveled. I have deep-seated wounds that, though it was presented that salvation would wash them all away, many are half-healed or scarring. As I type this post I realize that I have been at this cross-roads many times. Standing, wondering which way is right or left. I have gone through the endless loop of seeking God’s forgiveness, only to return to the same junction analyzing the authenticity of my Christianity. “How many times will God go through this with me?” I often asked myself. “He must be tired.” 

But the answer came this morning. What if we just let it burn? Although saved, baptized, serving, and studying the word, many remnants of our past are left wandering in our souls. Many are so embedded in our way of life that our healing process is much longer and more grueling than that of others. It may not be as easy for Sis. Mary to “get over” the psychological effects of being exposed to sex at a young age. Brother Angelo may have forgiven his rapist but he’s left to deal with the scars of his experience. I believe that nothing in our molding process as Christians is as instant or as black or white as we would like to believe. 

Let it Burn

But what if we just let it burn? This morning the Holy spirit inspired me to make a list, create a strip for each challenge, pour olive oil on them and burn them! I did just that. While they burned I asked God to free me of any remnant of any past experience or mistakes. It was truly a freeing experience. One thing I noticed while burning was that the issues that I struggled with the most took a longer time to burn. I found that to be quite profound.

I urge you to give this a try. Let it burn! Combined with a one day (or whatever number the Holy Spirit suggests) water fast. Please, share your testimonies on what the experience was like for you.

 – God Bless You –