I apologize to my international followers for the heavy use of Jamaican Creole/Patois in this blog post. Bear with me, as the views I am about to express will best be presented in my native tongue. Thankfully, patois is not the hardest broken English to piece together. With the use of context clues, common sense and word association, you may be able to get through this reading.
To the Jamaicans or other members of the Caribbean community, let’s talk. Relationships are all the rave these days eh? We are at that age where the saints want love/marriage/situationships/financial aid/ whatever the case may be. They want something and many are employing desperate measures to secure the boy. A job young women shouldn’t even be committed to in the first place. Well, as a former man clown and lover of exposing personal business for the greater good of mankind; I believe I need to give the women some pointers before they get recruited for the man circus.
The Anointed Writer…Man Clown?
Man Clown
Definition
A female that is strongly infatuated with a man and will do anything for him, even if he does not feel the same way.
Example Sentences
Patois: Shi ah call him ten times a day and im still nah ansah, she a man clown.
English: She’s calling him ten times daily and he’s still not answering, she’s a fool.
Yes, I, blessed and liberated Amoy, a man clown. What a prekeh? Well, for those of you who don’t know, I may have been blessed even before knowing Christ personally. But, I wasn’t always liberated. I have mentioned this mess of a 5-year relationship so many times in my speaking engagements and blog posts that my loyal readers may just be tired of the young man. If this is your first introduction to The Anointed Writer, first of all, HEEEEYYYYYY. Second, let me give you a story.
Story Time
Once upon a time there lived a beautiful yet naive and slightly insecure young girl by the name of (you guessed it) Amoy. Her home life wasn’t the best in the love and support department. So, she went searching for it in all the wrong places. Her search culminated in the hands of a tall, dark and slightly handsome young man by the name of R… (u really too nuff and previous). We refer to him as Romeo from here onwards. Your girl was head over heels for Romeo and honestly, the relationship was great in the beginning. We spent continuous hours on Digicel Free Nights and my father even ruined a couple of phones because of the boy. Our relationship lasted one year together in the same country and 4 years on and off again when he went overseas. For the sake of reading time, we won’t go into the details of the story but the long and short of it is that I would literally do anything for this young man. Some things unspeakable but other things would include making purchases, getting his name tatted on my body, and defending him for dear life if anyone accused him of cheating. The reality is, I invested more than I received and though the love and respect were there in the beginning; it died quickly.
Relationship Rules
So, here are my few rules and lessons:
Relationship Rule 1 – Value YOU
Proverbs 31:10 – An excellent woman [one who is spiritual, capable, intelligent, and virtuous], who is he who can find her? Her value is more precious than jewels and her worth is far above rubies or pearls.
Young woman, you are worth so much that all the riches cannot compare to the value you possess. Open your eyes and heart and believe that. You don’t need a man to add value to your life; you are of worth all on your own. A man should value you and value himself so that when he seeks you and finds you, both of you will complement each other. Never lower your worth for a man because the one who is meant to see it will love you just the way you are.
Relationship Rule 2 – Give Men Credit but Let Them Prove It
Don’t listen to your friends. Not all men are dogs. Some are puppies. ISSA JOKE. Seriously though, that has nothing to do with this rule. But, let men prove that they are capable before you invest your time and energy in a relationship. Some girls put their lives on the line for a man’s character when oftentimes that man is putting his best foot forward long enough to get what he wants from her. A season of platonic friendship never killed anyone. Be friends first and judge his character. If he can’t function as a friend, chances are he won’t make a good boyfriend.
Relationship Rule 3 – Keep your Money Sis
Ya ediat? Why ya bruck bank ah min’ man? You can treat him once in a while but his daily meals and financial well being is not your responsibility sis. Keep your money. If he can’t fill his own tank he doesn’t need to be seeing you at all.
Relationship Rule 4 – You are Pursued not in Pursuit
Let him come to you. Nothing blurs our vision more than the intense desire to be with someone to the point where we begin to hunt. Women are not natural-born hunters. That’s a man’s identifier. Leave the hunting to him. The pursuit is so important in a relationship. How a man pursues you tells you a lot about how much he will invest in keeping the relationship going. Many think that the pursuit only initiates the relationship; but it keeps it going too. Who doesn’t want constant dates and gifts for no reason?
Relationship Rule 5 – Be a Queen not a Jester
Fix your crown queen and never remove it. We don’t wear clown noses or clown makeup. We are not here solely for anyone’s entertainment. Always remember who you are and treat yourself with respect. How you treat yourself teaches others how to treat you. When you respect yourself, men have no choice but to respect you.
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Amoy is intent on fulfilling God’s will and purpose for her life. She is a celebrity publicist, a proud Jamaican, a writer, an international speaker, a media practitioner and a published author. She loves all things luxury and is on a mission to become one of the wealthiest women from her island and in the world. 40 under 40, is that you?