Forgiveness: Forgiving Yourself

Forgiving others is hard, but forgiving ourselves? That can be very challenging! Many of us fail to forgive ourselves even after God has forgiven us. In a sense, it’s like we find it much easier to forgive others than ourselves. There is a tendency in all of us to hold ourselves more accountable than we do others. Many times, it’s the voice of the accuser, but apart from that, we are the ones not letting ourselves off the hook, and that gives the enemy room to add his own twists.

I know many of you have had experiences where you found yourself saying, “I can’t believe that I did something like that.” If you’re anything like me, that thought alone can mess you up for days. But why is that? After reflecting, I realise that self-righteousness plays its part in this.  

What is self righteousness?

Self-righteousness, which is related to legalism, is the idea that we can somehow generate within ourselves righteousness that will be acceptable to God (Romans 3:10). Many of us have a very high view of ourselves, which isn’t a bad thing in and of itself, but it gets worse when we cannot believe that we sinned in some way because we esteem ourselves as far greater than we really are. Our self-esteem has rotted our soul into the delusion of self-forgiveness. The truth is, none of us is perfect, and we still be in our sinful nature are prone to sin. So yes, there will be days when you will step on somebody’s toes, days when you will say something that someone else finds very offensive, days when you will make very bad decisions or behave in unchristlike ways. Why? Because you still have a sinful nature! But the bible tells us that, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us of our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” – 1 John 1:9 When God forgives us, we are forgiven, so it’s now our turn to release ourselves.

I have come to realise that “I can’t forgive myself” is equivalent to saying, “I haven’t lived up to my own perfect standards,” or, “I haven’t lived up to other people’s expectations.”  So, the battle with self-forgiveness arises from the failure to measure up to our own standards of performance; our own image of how good we hoped that we were. And now, we are deceived into thinking that we cannot forgive ourselves. In reality, we need to confess our sin of creating a self-righteous standard or worshipping the god of people-applause.

I would like you to do a heart check, as I am doing. Why is it so hard for you to forgive yourself? Why is it so hard to let go off of what has happened and accept it as is? It could be self-righteousness or a strategy of the enemy to keep you in that place of unforgiveness and condemnation. Whatever it is, I want to help you realize that though the bible does not specifically address self-forgiveness, there are principles of forgiveness that should be applied. Today, choose to let go of whatever you are holding against yourself so that you can move on with God and live with a peace of mind. If God has moved on, shouldn’t we? Philippians 4:9 states that we are to put into practice those things that we have learned from God and from His Word.

If you are struggling with forgiving yourself, state your self-forgiveness by saying any of the following:
“I forgive myself.”
“I forgive myself for my errors, and allow myself to move forward today,”
“The past is done; I cannot change it. Still, I can be a steward of my life today.”

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