Love at First Prophecy

“There is a blessing here in the form of a husband for some women.”

“I see a number of weddings happening this year.”

“Someone here has been praying for a partner and God is ready to answer!”

If you are a member of a church or visit churches regularly, you may have heard one or more of the above-mentioned statements at least once. If you have not, browse your webpage or youtube sermons. You will find a myriad of tools to help the hopeful woman of God in her search for Mr. Right. One would think that this is the most important quest for young women within the church. While it is good that there are resources available to assist single Christian women in the department of love or “wife preparation”, many women don’t utilize these resources. Instead, many focus on the prophecies they receive and run ahead of God. They act on their emotions instead of the facts.

This reminds me of an issue surrounding what I believe is a vulnerable, naive subset of many church congregations – the young converts. Many women are entering into the church with high hopes of getting married. Nothing is wrong with having these expectations but many of these young women aren’t being nurtured or guided as I believe they should. They are not yet spiritually mature so they oft act off emotions without much knowledge of the bible and its standards. As a result, many become caught up in ungodly relationships within the church that often spiral out of control.

But there are two sides to the story:

There are many men in the church who fit the profile of a model man of God. They are active in church. These men preach the word like no other. Women romanticize these men and see them as their ideal spouse. Unfortunately, most of these men take advantage of the vulnerable young converts who are on the hunt for their prophesied “husband”. When women express interest, instead of politely taking control of the situation, these men give in to see how far they can go with these women. Sad right? But we’re not here to cast blame.

Possible signs he’s taking advantage of you:

• He’s eager to be secluded with you.
• He avoids public knowledge of your “relationship”
• He doesn’t take you on dates or serves you in any way
• He’s only interested in receiving favours from you (all types of favours)
• He’s only interested in seeing you when it’s convenient to him
• He avoids Godly conversations at all cost

Women!

I understand that there’s this intense desire to find a spouse but I can guarantee that closeness with God is far greater than affection from any man. I can assure you that if you focus on your relationship with God, your desired spouse or God’s will for you will come. If God makes a promise, He will fulfill it. God is not a man, that he should lie.

What to do while you wait for your prophesied husband?

• Prepare

  What are you doing to prepare for this relationship that you so desire? Love cannot come if you are not ready. Is your mind ready? Is your soul ready? You cannot enter into someone’s life hoping to have a successful relationship if you are not ready to complement that person. Where he is weak, you should be strong. Do you pray? Do you understand or know your seasons of change? Is your heart ready?

• Pray

  One of the tools I used in this season of my life was Praying for Your Future Husband: Preparing Your Heart for His. This book provided a guide on how to pray for the future spouse that I so desired. Authors and good friends Robin Jones Gunn (Christy Miller series) and Tricia Goyer (author and former teen mom) believe God answers women’s prayers for husbands—even husbands they may not meet for years. They invite young women to pray boldly for their future mate while also asking God to prepare their own hearts.

• Lean not on your own understanding

  This one is MAJOR! Lean not on your own understanding. Most of us know this scripture very well. Proverbs 3:5 tells us to trust in the Lord with all our heart and lean not on your own understanding. However, I find that (and this happened to me…yes I’ve made all the mistakes) many women trust God with all their hearts while waiting but lean on their own understanding when they think the one God is sending arrives. You will need to trust God while waiting AND when he arrives (whether it’s the right or wrong one). While God is busy preparing what we’re asking for, the enemy is also busy preparing his distraction. Lean not on your own understanding because what may LOOK like it, may not be IT.

• Watch the signs (red flags)

  There will always be indicators to know if you’re on the right path or not. A man of God will display Godly character with evidence to match. Seek wisdom as it relates to the constructs of Godly dating. Know your boundaries and stick to them. Never let your guard down or make excuses for behaviour that is less than God’s standard.

• God will work it out (you don’t have to arrange anything)

  I always share this with my young people: “When God ordains something all you have to give is obedience to Him and His word.” Never believe that you will have to orchestrate situations to obtain a man. Girl what? (see image below) Remember, he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22). Not Debbie who throws herself at Jimmy will find a good thing and obtain favour. Debbie may obtain favours from Jimmy but not Godly ones. You will not have to beg a man to see you. You will not have to force a connection to happen. That’s tiring. God will organize the grand meeting. You just need to wait.

  

God Bless You
#TheAnointedWriter