The Ultimate List of Deal Breakers from Christian Wives

Gone are the days when Christian wives are fighting to the finish through heartache, heartbreak and blatant disrespect. Deal-breakers exist for many Christian women who refuse to stay in a marriage that is neither worthwhile nor fulfilling. If you’re wondering what a deal breaker is, it is something that would cause a person to abandon a plan, mutual arrangement, agreement, or relationship. Entering into marriage with a partner who has hefty debt or terrible credit is definitely a deal-breaker for many.

So we asked a few wives the question: What is your ultimate deal-breaker in marriage? What is the ONE thing you could not endure in a marriage?

Here are the responses:

Wife 1:
In a marriage now where I’ve experienced a lot of things, I can never say never. I’ve experienced heartbreaking things but I’m still here. I’ve never been cheated on knowingly but I’ve experienced serious emotional abuse and it has brought me to great pain where I was about to end the marriage. Don’t know why God still has me here, so I don’t know what it’ll take to call it quits. It could be me staying in dysfunction because it’s familiar or it could be God doing work I can’t see yet. Who knows!?

Wife 2:
The first thing that came to mind was cheating but I think my deal-breaker would be if he loses his mind and places his hands on me. (physical abuse)

Wife 3:
Physical and emotional abuse

Wife 4:
Possessive and controlling behaviour

Wife 5:
Getting a child outside the marriage

Wife 6:
I know of someone whose husband started following “Jewish” principles. As an obedient wife, she took the kids and followed him because he is the head of the household. Personally, I think we would have to separate. It’s a deal-breaker for me because I believe Jesus is the door and that religion doesn’t believe in Jesus.

Another deal-breaker for me is PRIDE. My husband flows in the prophetic & deliverance. I have told him that whenever he becomes like many of the Prophets I see in Jamaica who are all puffed up, I’m not tolerating it. However, this is at the bottom of my list because – for that reason – my leaving would be a last resort.

Wife 7:
It’s definitely manipulation for me.

Wife 8:
This one is hard for me just because of what God did when I felt neglected. I wanted to call it quits and move on last year but that was a season of being tested and God restored everything. I don’t know if I would call it quits for cheating, emotional abuse, or any of the above reasons. I would pray for him and seek God’s divine intervention and counselling. I never thought about this honestly. I never thought about what he could really do right now to make me leave. Maybe I have to think about this some more and get back to you.

The responses seem to all reflect physical or emotional abuse, infidelity and emotional neglect but what would cause you to call it quits? What is your ultimate deal-breaker in marriage?

Explicit Divorce Allowances

“The Bible only explicitly allows divorce for two reasons: In Matthew 19:9 where Jesus proceeded to state one exception in which case divorce is permissible. The scripture highlights sexual immorality on the part of one’s spouse, that is, in context, adultery. In this case, however, divorce is not mandated or even encouraged—forgiveness and reconciliation should be extended and pursued if at all possible. But divorce is allowed, especially in cases where the sinning spouse persists in an adulterous relationship. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul adds a second exception: in instances where an unbelieving spouse abandons the marriage. This would typically be the case when one of the two partners is converted to Christ at some point after marrying and the other person refuses to continue in the marriage.”*

Divorce Stats

The World Population Review states that in the United States, about 50% of married couples divorce, the sixth-highest divorce rate in the world. Subsequent marriages have an even higher divorce rate: 60% of second marriages end in divorce, and 73% of all third marriages end in divorce.

The average age for couples going through their first divorce is 30 years old. Couples are more or less likely to get divorced based on several factors. Couples married between the ages of 20-25 are 60% likely to get a divorce. Those who wait until they are older than 25 to get married are 24% less likely to get divorced. Those with strong religious beliefs are 14% less likely to get a divorce. The higher attainment of education someone has, the lower their risk of divorce is. According to a U.S. Census Bureau survey, the top three reasons for divorces are incompatibility (43%), infidelity (28%), and money issues (22%).*

So what’s your take? Let us know in the discussion thread below. What is or would be your ultimate deal-breaker in marriage?

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