Social Media seem to have a lot to say as it relates to life in general. Perspectives from around the world are thrown together by hashtags. The winning perspective is oftentimes the most attractive; the one that thwarts the general ideas of reality.
Dating is one area of life that social media has successfully conceptualized into something far different from what it actually is. I am not disputing that frequent getaways, regular surprise rose petals in candle-lit rooms, expensive gifts, and matching outfits aren’t the reality of many. I definitely am not. However, this isn’t the reality of many. And while many can afford to live like this, it is not a priority outside the influence of Facebook, Instagram and the like.
For the dating among us or the ones praying for their future husband or wife, do the hashtags: #godlydating #christiandating #prayingcouples sound familiar? Christians share their dating perspectives. The hashtag is filled with pictures of happy couples, a few tips on dating, scripture, and testimonies. I observed for many months and one day I realized that many singles aren’t reserving spiritual intimacy for marriage. The focus tends to be placed on reserving physical intimacy. Yes, we should save sex and sexual intimacy for marriage but what about the spiritual intimacy?
Should dating couples go before God in prayer TOGETHER?
I must admit that social media thwarted my expectations of Christian Dating. You must be tired of hearing this but I’m only 3 years old in the faith. The “dating” I am used to can’t be discussed here. In the world, we jump the gun. I am grateful for the structure the bible gives. Thank you Jesus! insert praise break here
One of the ideas I had, said that Christian dating couples must pray together. If dating couples don’t pray together, they’re not doing what Christian dating couples should do. Don’t laugh at me. For a while I felt that God must have had an issue with this relationship because we weren’t storming heaven on earth’s behalf (people say that?). I felt that if God ordained this relationship, we should at least be praying together; holding hands, speaking in tongues together, chasing demons together and the works. God later revealed to me that praying together takes you to a level of intimacy that can be detrimental to dating couples if the relationship is not mature enough. Praying together for long periods awakens an intense intimacy that is reserved for marriage.
What you should do instead…
- Focus on your individual prayer lives
Your individual prayer life is more important than intimate prayer with a dating partner or public prayer. Public prayer can be an imitation of the real thing. Don’t be so focused on being prayerfully strong together at this stage of the relationship. However, focus on being strong independently then coming together to complement each other.
- Pray separately together
You can pray about an issue separately together. Matthew 18:20 tells us that where two or three are gathered together in God’s name, there He is in the midst of them. For the case of this article, I want to look beyond a physical gathering together. I believe that both can agree on a topic, pray about it, and God will work on their behalf. Prayer doesn’t have to be done in the same space or in different spaces at the same time; God will still hear.
One must be cautious about praying together as a dating couple. We have already established that injecting this element too early into the relationship can be detrimental to the relationship. How so though? Boundless stated in an article that praying together can be used to deceive, manipulate and even woo. For many, their private prayer life is not synonymous with their public prayer life. Many Christians struggle to keep a regular private prayer time. Praying together can be a method of covering this hard truth. When dating, persons want to put their best foot forward. Boundless says, “let me warn that some people use the trappings of spiritual depth to win a person’s heart. Beware of people who seem to be proud or boastful about their own spiritual life. They may be showing you what they think you want to see.”
These are my two-scents in Jesus’ name.
God Bless You.
The Anointed Writer