It’s been a whole two weeks (and two days). Your girl is married. Let me just say that marriage is beautiful. The overwhelming joy that I feel in my soul when it’s morning and my husband reaches for me with gratitude in his eyes was definitely worth the wait. Gratefulness pours from my heart because God has indeed blessed me with a wonderful Man of God. Before I continue, take a look at the first piece in the Woman or Wife Series.
I needed to check in with you guys. It has been so long. However, I always aim to be intentional about my posts. It is one thing to grab my Macbook and start typing but it’s even more powerful when God prompts my writing. Today, I want to share with you some of the issues and ideologies preventing dating couples from taking the leap of faith that is marriage. The reality is that many want to get married but issues such as fear, money, low self-esteem, timing, and the “big wedding” syndrome prevent couples from taking action.
Fear
It is not hard to admit that fear almost made me delay my marriage. No matter how much faith you possess, the unknown is always a scary concept to process. Although I was eager and excited to marry my love; I was more comfortable in a place of fear. “Maybe not yet.” “Am I really sure?” were questions that plagued my thoughts but through it all there was a peace I could not deny. If you are fearful, you may need more time to be ready and that is okay. But, it is important to be able to identify when that fear has become crippling. You have your “yes” to marry. The rest of the journey requires faith all the way.
Money
Have you seen this Gleaner article? It shares how my husband and I planned to delay our marriage because we simply did not have all the money we think we needed for our wedding. Money delays many marriages because of the concepts persons have of what a wedding should be. The reality is that a wedding is one of the most commercialized milestone events. I remember requesting the price of a cake without using the word “wedding” and once while making reference to the word “wedding”. The difference between the two prices was major. The ‘big wedding syndrome’ will explore more on the money issue so read on.
Low Self-Esteem
Issues with self-esteem is a struggle for many women. Sadly, I have had my moments with it. There was a time I thought my body had to be perfect for the man I am going to marry. Not knowing that the man God had for me would love me in whatever package I came in. I had already met him and we were already dating but I had to get things right before he could see me naked. It’s funny the things we deem as important when going into a Godly union. The enemy uses the most unimportant things to erect barriers with delays in our lives. Break free from them and say yes to your season of marriage.
Timing
God’s timing is perfect. He is the master of time. He orchestrated our entire life before we were formed in our mother’s womb. It is important for God’s children to understand, respect, and obey His perfect timing. Many Christians have an “It is not the right time.” complex and oftentimes release these words without including God. Did God tell you that it is not the right time or did you tell yourself that it is not the right time? Things will never be perfect but your obedience is perfect enough.
Big Wedding Syndrome
This is my favourite one to talk about; the big wedding. Earlier I mentioned how lack of money can delay marriages. Usually, when a lack of money is a factor in deciding on a wedding date, it is due to the fact that the couple is dreaming bigger than their bank accounts. Nothing is wrong with dreaming but dream within the lines of what God wants for you and your union. God is a provider but He cannot be exploited. He will only provide what he sanctioned for you. Find out what that is and wrap your minds around it. For my husband and I, what we wanted for our wedding was not what God sanctioned. I had to abandon most of what I had in mind which was established on the commercialization and traditions of weddings. What I saw on Instagram and Pinterest formed my big dream wedding and that wasn’t what God wanted. Take my advice, if a big wedding is not for you, let go off the idea of it and move on with what God has sanctioned for you.
Amoy is intent on fulfilling God’s will and purpose for her life. She is a celebrity publicist, a proud Jamaican, a writer, an international speaker, a media practitioner and a published author. She loves all things luxury and is on a mission to become one of the wealthiest women from her island and in the world. 40 under 40, is that you?